You make me wanna want ya...

Okay so last night i had work. Today school was rather boring, lit and calc tests in a row sucked the life from me. But yeah after school i came home and got ready for NHS, met liz at publix at 530 and got the food. She got lost leaving while she was next to me, which was so so funny. We unpacked and got everything ready and the induction went so well. Besides the fact that:

1) sam can't say success, or any word with double c's
2) liz can't say oath, it is too hard?
3) i can't light a candle
4) david g can't speak into the microphone
5) mrs.brethrick had her fun in the 70's?
6) david s loves cuban sandwhiches and will stop at nothing to eat them
7) mrs parrado has sinned and will go to heaven because
a) chicken is not meat
b) pasta is made with mayonnaise
c) the schoolboard does not allow fish to be consumed at an induction
lol all in all it was a crazy fun night. i love all of you. tomorrow i have family over for bfast and then hw and then work which sucks.

" You don't even know a thing I feel inside
Know, by the look in my eye
That I'm just fine but I might need you to hold me tight"

i'm quite confused. flattered. angered. happy. mellow. decisive. for once. i know what i want. and i'm pretty sure that i know what everyone else wants. why me? why couldn't the world not go crazy for once. I guess it's cool that i don't try so hard. Thank you, david, for making such a lovely joke out of everything lol. You are my hero. Blah work tonight, meaning i will do calc hw while mildly paying attention to wesley singing. I won't be on tonight probably, i am trying not to be online.

i can't believe it. i just got some strange urge to do something crazy. something that no ones ever done before (lol from garden state). i want to spin around in the rain. i want a thunderstorm, i want to laugh like there's no tomorrow, and not worry about what others say about my laugh, i like it.

i want to do something. now if i only could.

take a look at me now...

Okay, so my laptop has actually died this time. It is being fixed now and i won't have it for like 2 weeks. oh well. I'm training myself to not go online, and do other things. The past few days i have almost finished a book, and done all of my homework. I have also been going to sleep earlier than normal, as people have noticed. I've been more tired and it's better than going online for so long. I've also been trying to be a better person. A nicer, more caring, sweet, compassionate, loving wonderful, beautiful person. I don't think that it's going so well, but it's better than being so hard on myself. I only deserve that some of the time.

Hmm, friday i went to lukes, saturday i worked 2-9 and then went home, talked to kyle and sleep, sunday i worked 930-315 and then went to PBG to see family. I love little Claudia Rose and Evan Michael. They are the cutest and i want them.

Monday i had a sadd meeting, then dinner at applebees, quick college class! and then dairy queen. You guys, i'm getting so fat. Today i was bored so i went to publix after school to finish the cake order, then i went to get my mom soup cause she no feel good. After that kyle came over and i helped him study some for calc.

I'm so wrapped up in this love story novel, wow im dumb
Prom planning is gay and i don't feel like worrying about it.
I'm so tired. Please believe in me. Someone.

"So tell me is it hard to see
The possibility, that i am not the person that i seem
I'll show you everything inside
Will you open up your eyes
Cause i'm more like you then you may ever know..."

wah-dah-tah

"I don't wanna talk to you anymore
I'm afraid of what I might say
I bite my tongue everytime you come around
Cause blood in my mouth beats blood on the ground..."

breaking

"and nobody knows it but me..."

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.

mhmm

Can I swallow this bottle whole?
So this brain in my head can forget your face
Can I swallow this bottle whole?
'Cause I'd rather be dead than make more mistakes

babies, simple as that

I'm so glad that heather is okay, that worried me so much.

Work was fun, school was boring, NHS window wash and bfast with Dan was an adventure.

Not much else to say except, Wah-Dah-Tah or some over variation of the spelling. I love Katie :)

happy valentines day :)

even though i hate this holiday

College!!! AHHH!!! Surprise!!! AHHH!!!

I got into Binghamton, which is my new york possibility, if i am planning on going to college up there, with rick, then i can.

HAHA sam's surprise is today, i'm excited to see what it is!

Maybe it's just an illusion...

...trying to tell myself what i should feel. Is that a good enough response?
Can't i just pretend to be happy for once? No i guess not.

"Drink up baby down.
Mmm, are you in or are you out?
Leave your things behind,
'Cuz it's all going off without you.
'Scuze me, too busy,
You're writing your tragedy.
These mishaps, your bubble wrap, when,
You've no idea what you're like...

(So let go)
So let go
Mmm, jump in
Oh well whatcha waiting for?
It's alright,
'Cuz there's beauty 
In the breakdown.
(So let go)
Yeah, let go
Just get in
Oh it's so amazing here.
It's alright,
'Cuz there's beauty 
In the breakdown."

I just watched Garden State and i really hated it. It sucked so much ass
i can't believe i even listened to lyn on this one. But that girl was right,
if you don't do something that no one had ever done before, then what
are you living for? I've started to wonder what college is going to be like,
and how many things will change, so far since the new year began, so much
has changed, so many people have changed my life, and i ahve learned so
much. I can't wait to see who changes my life next.

oh shit

OH MY!!! I GOT AN A ON A LITERATURE QUIZ. I think this is the first one all semester.

omg, that was soooo just a duke interview!
I also went to publix and definitly ordered about 900$ worth of food, that was exhilerating!

ohhh our evil plan/project/video has been approved, and consented upon ;) i'm excited! lol.

Heather and I are going to go to the gardens mall tomorrow for prom dress shopping, then we are meeting Sophie and Sara and going to Delray movie theater to see William Shakespeare's: The Merchant of Venice, not to be confused with Macbeth. It gives us extra credit in Lit, which my C could really use!

I can't wait for prom, it makes me happy, cause of senior year, my duke interview today...this is all crazyyyyyyy stuff.

I will update on my Duke interview after i order the NHS food and go there. This is scary :(

omg, the pain in my tooth, arm , and foot, are almost unbearable. my survey has been ruined, due to samantha being "out there", grrr to her.

oh my god! | |_ x tan 270!

I'm so tired, as if every ounce of my strength and emotion is draining out of my body like like hydrogen from a balloon, as if i have a hole somewhere in my body. I'm tired of being called ugly and fat. I'm tired of caring so much about everything else but what i should care. I think by spending my time trying to make other people happy, some part of me is made happy as well. There is one thing, that would make me happy, but someone is being too damn stubborn. Someone defend me once in awhile please? I want to go to college, like now. Go away and meet thousands of new people, in a new place.

interesting revelation....

Freudian slip
n. A verbal mistake that is thought to reveal an unconscious belief, thought, or emotion

now basically, there have been two of those "mis-actions" this past week. one by gabe, and the other by a friend at my school. The first, including gabe, was a deep underlying emotion , that came out when being confronted with this concept of "freudian-slips". The second, including my friend, may very well be the same thing. I got mauled in the hallway after finding out all of this information; information which i had already decided was the truth. Thank you Mr. Meyers for at least teaching me SOMETHING in that AP psychology class of yours. I should become one of those cool lie-detector people. I think that I really have a future in this! But now, i would like to make a broadcast out to all of my faithful readers, a simple, pleasant, how-im-feeling-now, message. Hopw you like it:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

today certainly deserves a post...

well, first i got woekn up last night by john asking if he could wear khaki, then this morning john called saying he was late for school, so we had to wait for him before we could leave. The substitute for ms.dell made dan and i walk stuff around for him BAH. So we (ms.dell, john, dan, christine, sam, johnny brown, and i) left and went to bfast. It was a free bfast and ohhhhh so lovely :) Ms.dell talked to me in private and told me that i had to be nice to johnny, so i was lol. Then we went to competition and it was mah-velous. Sam's mom and my mom were there, lmao. During round one, dan christine sam and i were in, and john told mrs.jeschonek about Gabe and Sam. WOW. So we competed and did well, it was a grand time, we lost our third place spot by 1 point in the final team ? and i almost killed someone. Well whatever im happy being

4TH PLACE IN THE COUNTY!

well after that we certainly headed towards the mall, cause we were with the dell, i mean c'mon. We went there, dell dan and i got there first so we went to the bathroom and some old skeevy guy checked me out, mrs dell was like "NO NOT MY BROOKE YOU CAN'T LOOK AT HER!!!" so then we waited for the other four and then found them. Johnny brown had crutches so we went to get him a scooter. They wouldnt let him have one cause hes not 21 but somehow he managed to get one. Then they said, dont go wild. And 10 minutes later he hit like 3 chairs in the food court. We had fun shopping and seeing christine try on whore shorts, and going to walden books then sneaking out, and victorias secret with dan was quite funny and we saw mattie there. Then we went in forever 21 christine dan and i, and we ran into ms dell. she is so aweosme and finds cute things. Christine got the smae shorts as i did cause they are so so so cute. Then we came back to school and went inside quickly, cause dan made me go inside, then i came home. Then i went to get my bro at school and get wendys cause i was hungry.

overall a very wonderful wonderful day :)

pensive..i would say

I've never been more happy and let down at the same time. I have so many unbelieveable things going for me right now, and i have been basking in the glory. I have so many distractions right now, and i have been sulking in the shadows.

1. I love you, sometimes it hurts.
2. I am glad that patrick is alive and that no one was hurt in the wreck
3. I am sad, yet hopeful, that tom is leaving in June. We'll see if our friendship survives.
4. I am rather let down by Dan. I'm not the only one who sees this.
5. I'm sorry for your loss Kyle.
6. Heather and Sara thank you for always being there for me and making me laugh.
7. The NHS induction is totally unorganized, we need to pull this together.
8. I'm most likely a GATOR now.
9. Merchant of Venice, this weekend, in W.Boca!!!!
10. I hate literature and everything having to do with it.
11. I'm looking forward to seeing Dominik.
12. I love Jessica and Sam in guidance, they are the funniest two girls!
13. I know every song that Gabriel has on his mp3 player :)
14. I miss lyndsey, and got closed in a closet today by mean Bryan.