Do it now cause...: April 2005

my final breath is gone

I hope i'm not experiencing heather's chronic neck pains, because they wont go away, and travel to my back sort of. I refuse to let myself get sick, i've been sick way too many times this year.

[and i can't make it on my own
because my heart is in ohio
so cut my wrists and black my eyes
so i can fall asleep tonight or die
because you kill me...] HaWTHoRNeHeiGHTS

Spare me just three last words.

[Everyone and everything feels like it slips away
Way down deep down in my lungs, I can hear you as you fade]

blech

feeling so...sick. gah i hate the feelings of when i first get sick cause i know i don't get better quickly. :(

blow me crack monkey?

[So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters] Metallica

without you all i'm going to be is incomplete

[Where we were going we didn't really care, we had all we ever wanted...] Kenny Chesney, Keg in the Closet

[Am I more than you bargained for yet
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear
Cause that's just who I am this week] Fall Out Boy, Sugar we're going down

[Time passes and it tells us what we're left with
We become the things we do
Me I'm a fool, spent from defiance, yeah you got me but
I didn't give up on you] Third Eye Blind, Blinded

[I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind] Howie Day, Collide

[And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve

In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me] 3 Doors Down, Let Me Go

"who said there needed to a plan, who said life was scripted out and designed to be easy?"

[edit]
I did two things tonight that i don't normally do. I went and stood outside and just looked at the sky, it was so beautiful and i really was mesmorized, you don't know how much thinking one can do like that. After that i wrote a poem. I never have written one before, so i did. I guess it's okay. It's the one thing bretherick has passed on to me i guess?

It means more than anything right now...

"...and this life sentence that i'm serving
I admit that i'm every bit deserving
but the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair" relientK

graduation is just about one month away, whereas we only have 14 days left of school til graduation, and 6 of mine are AP exams, sweet. This summer is going to be the best ever too. I can't wait for it.

Chocolate covered matzoh is soooo yummy.

"I am a little bit insecure a little unconfident
Cause you don't understand I do what I can but sometimes I don't make
sense" LinkinPark

Sleep...please?

{[He's] a myth that I have to believe in
All I need to make it real is one more reason}Slipknot

14 days!!!! 14 more days!

Slip and Bleed...

I think i've given up rap for a little while, or just for now. These are the cds that i really really really want now:

(1) Lifehouse- Lifehouse
(2) The Used- In Love and Death
(3) Unwritten Law- Here's To the Mourning
(4) Jack Johnson- In Between Dreams
(5) Breaking Benjamin- We are not Alone
(6) Dane Cook- Harmful if Swallowed

I know that there's more but i can't think of them! gah, i'll have to add more later. And now, on to the amazing boredom fun of dinner, wheel of fortune, jeopardy, shower, reading, and maybe even some homework!!!!

:Someday:

[And how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this] Lifehouse

I guess i should post. I've been really tired lately. Last night i passed out before 1030 and today even after 11ish hours of sleep im still really tired. At least i get to spend time with my lyndsey today. 3 more weeks of school people, 3 more weeks. Do you understand how great that feels? After so much time, there's 17 days of school left!!!!! OMFG. It's still insane, but i'm loving life right now. I love all of my friends, and no luke, i don't hate the world. Ahhh im loving radio AOL!!! awesome songs. I'm heading off to work. Later days.

[I'll be just fine
Pretending i'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that i've got...] theUsed

withlove,brooke

oh so tired

[And we're not gonna live forever
Can you tell me is it now or never
I'm not gonna make up your mind

I don't wanna live without you
And I don't wanna live a lie
We'll never know till we try
Yeah we'll never know till we try] lifehouse

omg, funniest shit ever.

The funny times of prom '05, only a few will understand

It all started off when dan walked into a door...Once in the limo the driver was insane. He told us that we could do "whatever the fuck we wanted, excluding alcohol and drugs, anything else goes." Luke was up for sex. Limo drive and dinner were funny, but i dont remember most of the funny things. At prom i danced all over tracy the whole time, making her rather uncomfortable. Only heather and i can pull of the girl on girl dancing, lol. Well the whole night the boys got mad about random shit and all sat there the whole time. Tom said that i "slut it up", david "was bored", luke "had no date", pat was apparently going to kiss katie(that was the rumor). So they all sat around lol. Tracy danced with callahan? Anyway after prom was where the really funny shit happened.

We went to the beach. We all bet dan to strip naked and jump in the water. He and pat ran out of the limo pulling clothes off and throwing them on the beach, they got down to boxers and both ran into the ocean. Tom and i gathered the clothes and hid them, then ran away. We also got yelled at by this coupled trying to have sex in a lifeguard stand, who does that? Tom tried to run down the beach holding my hand, and he ended up dragging me when i fell, and then i got yelled at! lol. Okay so after the beach=lukes house.

We all got to lukes and changed really quickly into bathing suits and went swimming cause pool=hot air=cold. It was more of a drinking/swimming event. Fun Fun. After that we all got changed and just hung out. I had gotten a call early from a mysterious robin that i believed to be tracys friend. So of course a rather buzzed brooke asked tracy if that was her number. Tracy confirmed and then tracy and brooke had a talk. We had a long talk about many things cause i love my tracy, and towards the end tracy concluded that i should not call robin back. I really wanted to mess with her b/c i had too much to drink, although tracy had the same amount cause we shared. She wouldnt let me call, so dan offered to. But dan was drunk off of his ass, so we sat around arguing and grabbing my phone from each other. We ended up not calling but it was funny. Then i danced behind dan some, and then tried to kiss tracy, not really though. I did however scream to tom telling him that tracy wouldnt kiss me, cause she is my love.

Sometime around 5 we all found places to sleep and passed out. Then at 1030, tom and i being up first, went and woke everyone up. We found katie on the couch so we went to see who was in her room, and found tracy in the bed with what looked like dan. Then dan gets off the floor and comes to say hi to us, and we realize tracy and pat are in bed together. And that is where i will end my weird adventure of prom night.

many pretty pictures below...