So fuckin' emo lol

I'm in that stage that i always dread so much. The thing is...I don't dread it this time. If you know me at all then you know that i'm never single. That I always have a boyfriend. That i'm always looked after. I'm never like this. And by never I mean...since march of junior year. It all went downhill from there. What was it? Tom, luke, kyle, tom, luke, tom, john, dan. Gosh doesn't that sound SO FUCKING HORRIBLE. I have a problem, and that problem is boys.

So what do you do when you have this problem....? I don't know. But I know that even after all of those times that i've said "I don't need boys", and then the next day i have a boyfriend,
I know i'm growing up. I've already eliminated mostly all of the drama in my life, and it feels quite good lol. I love having friends that are so amazing. I love sarah, brittany, and alyssa. I love the boys next door. I love lukey and dan when they don't gossip. I love the friends that don't go to UF that I don't see. I love being up until all hours of the morning talking with sarah or keith. They help a lot most of the time. I love having control of my life finally.

I must admit that I envy Sarah. She can look at any situation and not get mad. She can take all of this crap, and still laugh and smile. She doesn't yell, she doesn't get mad. How does she do it? I really don't know. I've already learned so much from her.

I'm never really sure of myself, ever. I can't ever decide what i want. I know myself so god damn well, yet i don't at the same time. I know my past, I know how i am now, and i don't want history to repeat itself. How long have I been boy-less? 38 days. Over one month. 38 wondorous, amazing, funny, happy, do-what-brooke-wants days. How long has it been since i've had this much time to myself? Too fucking long.

I can get used to this...

Peace. Love. xoxo Brooke