Falling faster, it's true...

[I'm torn between this life I lead
And where I stand...] 3DD

For once can I do something right? For once can i be myself and not get shit for it. I feel so lost and confused. I feel like i want to have fun up here, and by doing that i'm hurting people. I can't have it both ways can i? In trying to make other people happy all of the time I lose sight of myself, my hopes, my dreams, my life.

Why can't people stop lying. If there was one thing that I could change about this world that we live in I think that it would be that no one would ever lie. Lying is perhaps, one of the things that i hate most about people, and turns me off to them. I know that I may exaggerate most of the time, i know that I have many imperfections, but [how can you collect them all and throw them in my face?] I'm tired of life. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of feeling like i'm the only one who understands me. I want so many things, but many of them can only come in time. I can't change myself or the world overnight, heck i don't think i can make myself better in a matter of weeks. But i really think i need to try.

I need to stop putting myself in situations where I can get hurt or potentially hurt people.

I need my friends ( i realized that this weekend). Tracy thank you so much for being my friend in the first place, and thank you for seeing in me someone that I don't see.

Thank you to my roomates and the boys next door. Just because even if you don't know it...you guys help me when i'm sad and need to laugh. It's just the little things that you do that help me through.

Even after all of my frusterations, my angey, my sadness, my depression, and even after my laughter and happiness with life. I KNOW that someday I will have had the strength to change and better myself.

And I hear screaming next door, maybe brian keith dave and mike are killing each other. I may need to go watch ;)

[If this keeps me away much longer
I don't know what I would do
You've got to understand it's a hard life
That i'm going through

And when the night falls in around me
I don't think I'll make it through
I'll use your light to guide the way
Cause all I think about is you] 3DD