like whoa

Today i will post, for all of you, for myself, and for the good of mankind. I realized that i used to let all of my thoughts out into this journal, it used to fulfill me, but lately i've been bottling it up and that's not good to my health. I have been cheating you all, i have been in some kind of funky mood, but i have gotten out of, i think. Nothing has been crystal clear to me lately. And i've been neglecting this journal, which i do like writing in actually. I didn't even see that kyle or dan wrote in here, and im happy they did but angry that i haven't been keeping up with this and acknowledging all of my friends in this, I love you ALL. I will, finally, update something for y'all. I've kind of been down lately, because of people, friends, people who shouldn't even get me down, but it doesn't matter to me at all anymore. I just can't be sad right now. I feel weak at times, like i will break, like i will fall down and not get back up, or like i can't go on with things, but you make that all okay.

i've also realized that i do talk too much sometimes, but it's just cause i'm so friendly and comfortable with people, i like talking to people, and there is no one that i hate, i just like people : ) and i'm sorry if i offend people, but it's not intentional.

today was an awesome day, PBCC, heathers which was great, olive garden, home and changed for pathfinder, lyndseys house, pathfinder interview, home and chilled with thomas. i'm glad we are friends. The pathfinder interview went so well, i didn't mess anything up! which is almost impossible cause i choke up a lot, but it happened, my good mood is rubbing off. I am making a promise to myself right now to stay in this good mood, to read many books, do homework, live my life, and finish college apps. Most importantly i want to hang out with everyone, yes, everyone and i'm not gonna question things anymore, just RUN with them heh.

I'm listening to my music, and being merry, wanting to talk to people, but dedicating myself to homework for awhile, im in this trance and i'm going to change my attitude on life. I've found a purpose, and something to motivate me, plus I got my car. This will make me stronger in the end.

"I hate to hate a hater
In fact I hate to hate
Hatein' is hatein' you should never hate congratulate
Look hurr my attitude is just that you may never know my mind
Or know just what Im thinkin' if I don't want you inside" N to the E double L why